Why I Won't Lead Cacao Ceremonies
Nana Marina’s home altar in San Pedro
I was introduced to drinking cacao in a ceremonial way by my friend Stephanie Estice in 2016. Stephanie is an energy healer, a mystic, and a forever friend. When she offers something to the world, it comes from a place of respect and diligent education. At the time she was just beginning to dive into the wisdom of the Mayan Calendar and tradition. She was learning about the origin of the cacao plant and how Mayans used this sacred medicine. A few of us had a personal ceremony by drinking the cacao mixed with hot water, meditating, and then discussing together what unfolded. I became really interested in ceremonial cacao and wanted to journey further with it. I ordered cacao of my own from a company that said they ethically sourced directly from indigenous keepers and cultivators of the plant. Like many things in the world today, you cannot trust that all companies are true to their word of ethics. With Stephanie’s advice, I ordered from a different company where all funds directly supported the families tending the plant in Central America. The bags of cacao were marked with the “energies of the day,” or “nawales.” This sealed the energy of the day it was harvested on so that you could go deeper into the message of the cacao. The more I drank cacao, the more I wanted to teach others about it. It was personal. My heart was activated and I felt the medicine move through me.
Because cacao had such a profound effect on my heart, mind, body, and spirit, I thought that I must share this medicine. It took some time for me to recognize that my intention was pure, but ultimately born of colonialist indoctrination. I started to notice cacao ceremonies pop up around town. Right before the pandemic lockdown, I had a “Cacao Ceremony” workshop scheduled to teach at one of my studios. That particular workshop got cancelled and I am thankful it did. I will tell you why.
Nana Marina setting up the fire altar for our personal ceremony
When I solidified my plans to go to Guatemala, I made it my mission to partake in a true traditional cacao ceremony led by a Mayan wisdom keeper. The cacao plant was born out of Central America and where exactly it originated is not important. Nana Marina Cruz of the Tz’utujil Tribe is a well known spiritual guide of the old traditions. She was not offering public cacao or fire ceremony at the time because her beloved father, Tata Pedro, had just passed away. He was a Chief spiritual guide leading cacao and fire ceremony. I met a new friend, Geraldina, in San Marcos who had traveled from Mexico to work with Nana Marina and had not successfully met her yet. We reached out through known channels around Lake Atitlán and in the most cosmic way possible, Nana Marina accepted our request to meet us. I was honored and humbled to be with her on the 13th day of the Mayan calendar, which is the most powerful and spiritual day of the Trecena. Not only that, the nawal of the day was Kame, or Death; an auspicious day indeed. Nana Marina and the two guides assisting her had just returned from the graveyard. They set up an altar and had ceremony next to her father’s grave because she had a vision the night before that this was the right thing to do. There was actual residue in the air that followed her; no ambiguity in how she embodied the Divine or Spirit. The three of our teachers hosted a cacao, tobacco, and fire ceremony for myself, my friend Dana, and Geraldina that I will never be able to properly put into words. The three of our teachers tuned into the vibrational layers of our bodies as if they had known us for lifetimes. Their interpretations of our energies were so succinct, so legitimate, and so true. In Nana Marina’s lecture before our ceremony, she made it clear that the cacao plant is as sacred and important as every other plant on this Earth. It is a medicine that is of the whole.
There are people in the present time that are meant to share the wisdom of the cacao plant through grandmothers and grandfathers, and then there are people who are meant to use the plant personally. Not everything we learn has to be our assignment to offer to others; ask yourself and your ancestors what medicine you are meant to share. The medicine of cacao is not my medicine to offer. I quickly realized that I do not have the teachings, tools, or experiences to lead a cacao ceremony. This incredibly transcendent experience with Nana Marina was an honor for me to have and I come home with rich lessons. Leading cacao ceremonies is not my calling on this Earth because I plainly do not have this wisdom from my ancestors. I still want to be with the cacao plant ceremonially and I will with myself, my partner, and my friends because it is a function for healing. I have the blessing of Nana Marina and if you want to purchase cacao directly from her, message me. Listen to this beautiful medicine healer speak more about cacao, fire, tobacco, and healing in the video below. Please do so from a place of respect.
