The Divinity of Sisterhood
Most of my strength can be accredited to the support I have graciously received from other women. Profound feminine connection has taught me the meaning of actual sisterhood. What makes this kind of sisterhood divine? It is sisterhood we choose, nurture, uplift, fight for, and spiritually honor. In my experience, the joining of feminine divinity is unmatched. There is a place for the masculine, however I will not be entertaining that query here.
I wouldn’t say I naturally created close relationships with other women. I got along with my two younger brothers, but had no sisters, so I did not start out with a framework for this kind of relationship. My cousin Emily was the closest I had to a sister. Divine sisterhood can be familial, and also it is something entirely different.
Many of my first friendships with girls in grade school were genuine, but I made myself small so I could be palatable for the person I was with. Alright, I didn’t always dilute my personality because I definitely wanted to shine (spoiled only-child syndrome for the first five years of my life). Although I did strive to emulate the girls I knew; I sought external validation and the need to fit in. As a younger person, you learn quickly that you can be easily disappointed by others in bad faith and embarrassment. People you trusted thoughtless betray you to exchange you for a more superior friendship or opportunity; even if this is a function of early life stages and immaturity, it still unfortunately leaves a deep imprint. Luckily, I made it out of grade school with a handful of friends who remain my sisters.
I deliberately sought out female identifying teachers and mentors as I progressed through my education. When I try to understand why this was, I believe I wanted to escape the patriarchal storyline of the perfect presented woman. I wanted to be a leader and learn from other women leaders. In third grade, I was enthralled with Amelia Earhart; I needed to have every biography, manuscript, and newspaper clipping I could find. My third-grade teacher would tell me stories about Amelia after class. To me, Amelia represented the ultimate feminine warrior, inventor, and genius who challenged odds and was the first female to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.
Later in university, I received a minor in Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies to uncover the history I was missing in my earlier teachings. I did not quite know what I was looking for then, but I started to unleash my wild. I met my boss, the Chief of Adolescent Medicine at our local Children’s Hospital, when I accepted my first career position in 2013. She is an accomplished woman in a field dominated by men and has had to champion herself to get the recognition she deserved from her seniors. Amongst all her responsibilities, she found time to mentor other women early in their careers who needed guidance, including me. Her presence in my life was instrumental to understand how women can break down barriers and build each other up. When I decided to go through Yoga Teacher Training in 2015, I specifically chose a program led mostly by women. My mentor, Michele Vinbury, is also a leader and solidified my teachings of true sisterhood.
Fortunately, I became more skillful at finding women I related to and kept a small sister circle. There is a spiritual undercurrent to an authentic friendship between two or more women. An immense power exists when a circle of women agree to be together to provide unequivocal and unrestricted care for one another – sisterhood. It has been through this type of relationship that I have witnessed holiness in myself. This kind of relationship happens when women commune together in a sacred way to truly see each other; to see doubts, insecurities, bravery, playfulness, mistakes, victories, dreams, and terrors. To be raw and still accepted. Friction and conflict are still present, of course, as we are all human finding our own paths, but there are those sisters in which the bond is so strong that years can pass and it’s as if nothing changed. I believe these kind of bonds are the most potent because they exist at the core; more resilient than friendships of those who may talk every day but exist on the surface level.
Sisterhood confronts you to see “yourself” so that can be seen. These relationships take effort even if the friendships ignite easily. The fire must be stoked otherwise it will be quick to go out. Communing with other women feeds these divine flames.
Last year, six of us got together on United Plant Saver’s blessed land and hosted our own mini retreat. We really only wanted to get together and catch up, but it turned into a weekend of much more. We each saw one another in beauty and awe, sincerely excited to hear about where life had taken each of us. Without even communicating, we all took on responsibilities and tasks to nurture one another like cooking or cleaning. We hosted ceremony, we cried in a sacred circle, we went on a medicine walk, we belly laughed, and we sunbathed on the heart shaped pond. We talked of our recent meditations, coping mechanisms, and practiced yoga together. This is sisterhood. The kind of love you feel wrap around you even if you are alone or miles away. There is mutual love in the heart that recognizes this energy and what a joy it is to feel it.
