Why Can’t Cane Be Like Benji?
In December 2020, we got a puppy. We were in the middle of the pandemic and definitely not considering getting a dog, but somehow found ourselves in a re-home situation. I knew within 24 hours of fostering this 2-month old puppy named Cane that I was not giving him back. I had one of those “when you know you know” moments which I never have. I can talk myself in or out of anything and I never feel certain that what I’m doing is the right thing. This time I was fully confident that this dog was ours and refused to hear any argument against it.
Although I knew Cane was ours, I was nervous for the serious undertaking of raising and training a puppy. I am very firm in my stance that when you take an animal in, you are promising to keep that animal in a happy home for life, and if your situation changes then you are dedicating yourself to ensuring that animal finds the right home. I also knew that the reality for dogs and other animals became bleaker during the pandemic. I would not be a part of that.
I was working remote at the time and teaching a few yoga classes on Zoom a week. Being home allowed me to spend a lot of one on one time with Cane. My focus was solely on him when I wasn’t knee deep in work. He was picking up commands fast and learning a new trick every other day. My partner Mike and I would joke all the time that Cane would steal our keys and start driving our car soon. He did not, however, pick up potty training with ease. About a month in, I had a very real breakdown questioning if I was cut out to be a mother. Cane had peed all over the kitchen (and me) for about the 3rd time that day. It was such a mess that I was forced to whip my pants off and scrub the floor. Mike came home in the middle of this debacle to me on hands and knees with tears streaming. He looked at me with big eyes and said, “What’s wrong?! And why aren’t you wearing pants?!” I think most parents have that moment when they doubt if they can handle parenthood, but after I got through the potty training and the sharp puppy teeth biting into me every second, I was mostly good.
So what does this have to do with yoga? Well, of course I thought I was raising my dog to be a yogi like me. I was sure he was going to be a chill dog that would relax on my mat while I practiced low lunges and high crescents. In fact, I imagined him to be exactly like Benji. Are you familiar with Benji? Yoga with Adriene is a popular YouTube channel featuring the joyful Adriene who offers free and accessible yoga classes that frequently feature her dog, sidekick, and best friend, Benji. Benji is a sweet black and grey speckled dog who is often laying off to the side while Adriene happily instructs her classes. He is completely relaxed and not temperamental or rambunctious at all in her videos. “Yes, this is exactly how Cane will be,” I thought. I imagined all the cute photos and videos I would capture of him laying under me while I was in downward dog or next me in child’s pose.
But this is not what happened.
Cane wreaked absolute havoc when I practiced yoga with him in the room. He was the president of complete chaos. I was often home alone with him and not able to crate him because I made the “first time parent” mistake of using it as place for time out (a lesson learned). This meant that I had to have him out while I was teaching virtual yoga classes so I could supervise him. Again, I thought I was raising a yogi puppy and had false optimism that he would eventually be like Benji.
After my work day, I would set up my tripod and roll out my mat for class. I would take time to organize my props and then turn my Bluetooth earpiece on. Somehow it always seemed that right when everyone logged onto Zoom, Cane would start acting out. He would dig and scrape his nails on my mat. He would run around the room and get all his toys out. Sometimes he would be so frustrated I wasn’t paying attention to him that he would incessantly bark at me in the middle of my class. I would have to jump off my mat and slyly mute myself to redirect him and then act like nothing happened when I unmuted. I am convinced he thought “Mom on the floor equals playtime,” which honestly is not wrong.
It wasn’t until he started to bite chunks out of my yoga blocks and spit them out all over my mat during my livestreams that I knew I finally had do something about this situation. Although teaching yoga is not my full-time job, it is still a profession I take seriously and I probably shouldn’t have my dog interrupting my class by chewing my props on recorded video in front of my students who paid to be there. I wondered, “Why can’t I just be like Adriene who is so cool, has so many subscribers, and a happy Benji who never destroys her yoga blocks?!”
Eventually the livestream era ended and yoga communities returned to in-person yoga classes. As I started teaching in the studio again, my students would constantly approach me and bring up Cane. They would giggle over his antics on stream and mention what a joy it was to see him on video being playful. They said how fun it was to be introduced to him as a puppy and watch him grow into an angsty teenager. In fact, so many of my students would say that their favorite memory of Cane was watching him savagely chew my yoga blocks. I realized I had a side character of my own. And if I am being honest, I really only ever hear about those classes where Cane made an appearance and not the other classes, like the ones I so carefully themed around the Niyamas.
Cane wasn’t and isn’t like Benji because he’s too busy being unequivocally Cane in the same way that Benji is best at being Benji. That “when you know you know” moment turned out to be true and Cane completely changed my life for the better. Even if I now have permanent scratches all over my yoga mat and half chewed blocks, I would not change a thing. He’s more of a rebel kind of yogi anyway.
