What to Do When You Are Uncertain
Photography by Nicole Leoné Miller
We all experience moments of uncertainty. Then there are times when uncertainty is at the forefront of our lives. The COVID-19 pandemic has especially left many of us wondering what will happen next while we watch the world change at a rapid pace. Although some good has come out of this period, much has been lost. Many of our loved ones have been lost.
With the little strength that’s left, you strain to see the other side of this loss and uncertainty. There is a place in you that shines a light on hope, but it is buried so far down, it would take too much energy to find it. Energy you do not have. Below are three simple practices that require almost no thought for when you are uncertain. These three things have helped me when I did not want to do anything at all.
Look at something small in nature, like a leaf or a rock.
I know this sounds ridiculous because it did to me, too.
I remember a day that was grey, dismal, and empty, much like the one today. This day was during a season of perpetual grey days. A void — no will to cry, be productive, or find positivity. No context for how to rest. My gut twirled inside me as I tried to make sense of the world. I called my mom. Talking to family doesn’t always help me when I feel uncertain. I can be skeptical or judgmental when I receive advice which stems from being a child and feeling like “no one understands me!” During this conversation, my mom told me to walk outside and find something to look at. She said to look at something small and stare at it for a while. If I could have sent my rolled eyes through the phone, I would have because this sounded foolish. When I hung up, I stewed in resentment for a bit and then looked at the door leading to my deck. It was winter and everything was lacking color, but I begrudgingly walked outside. I stood in my backyard and looked at a leaf that was hanging on to a tree. I watched it flutter as the wind caught it and then I noticed the clouds moving in the distance. Directing my attention to something outside my mind, something in nature, helped land me back into my body in the present moment. When faced with uncertainty, the unknown can consume all your thoughts. Anchoring into the present moment may be the permission you need to breathe a little bit deeper. No matter if it is dark, cold, rainy, sunny, warm, or breezy — go outside.
Lay on the ground and put your legs over a chair, on the couch, or up the wall.
In my experience, it feels like there is no ground to stand on when I am uncertain.
I can connect to the Earth in a different way when I lay on the floor in a constructive resting position. There is purpose behind this action and yet it is easily accessible. Use whatever is available like a chair, a couch, or a wall. If you want to stay in this position for a longer period of time, try to find a chair so the knees stay bent. Place your hands on your low belly and breathe into your palms. You can stare at the ceiling or close the eyes if it feels safe to do that. Stay here for as long as it is comfortable. This is a slight inversion so be mindful of that as you settle into it. This shape feels deeply restorative to me and helps change my perspective. If I have been stuck in my thoughts all day pondering the unknown, I can set up in this to breathe into different parts of my body. Over time, I sense the ground again.
Think of a mantra with your inhalation and exhalation.
Notice the breath. With the inhale, repeat in your head “I am.” With the exhale, repeat in your head “loved.”
There are endless possibilities for your mantra, but keep it simple so that you aren’t overwhelmed. I also like to use “I am” with the inhale and “grateful” with the exhale. Put yourself in a comfortable position — super comfortable. Use pillows, blankets, comforters, candles, crystals, and anything else that brings you a sensation of ease. Source the comfort in your space when you close the eyes. Repeat your simple mantra with the breath for as long as feels right. Try not to scold yourself if you are too stimulated in the moment to do this. Table this practice for another time, perhaps before you are ready for bed.
All these tools will be here for you if they call to you. Do not look for an answer, for an answer you shall not find. Meeting yourself in the present is all you will need. I am with you as you move through challenges.
