How Teaching Yoga Changed My Practice
Photography by Michael Patrick Studios
Before I started teaching yoga, I was attending hot flow, ashtanga, and advanced vinyasa classes consistently, like every evening of the week. I knew this wasn’t going to be sustainable long-term, but I did have a regular practice that I loved. I had time to train for certain postures or focus on certain parts of my body. My dedication was in the forefront of my life and I was living and breathing yoga. With all that energy channeled into my practice, I knew I wanted to share. I couldn’t wait to teach.
I was able to get teaching positions at a few yoga studios after I graduated from my teacher training. Teaching yoga was and still is not my full-time job, so I only had my evenings and weekends available to teach. I was using my free time and that free time was limited, so my practice started to diminish. I couldn’t go to yoga classes every night of the week because I was teaching. There were classes I would try to fit into my schedule so I would stay inspired to teach and create from a place of embodiment. Some weeks, however, I could not attend class at all. Those weeks started to multiply. I got to a point where I couldn’t stand being in a studio one more evening if I didn’t need to be there. I couldn’t focus on training my body anymore, in fact, teaching took a huge toll on my body. I felt depleted and sore often. I overextended myself, but I kept going because of my passion to teach.
A lot of teachers fall into this pattern. Some teach through the burnout to keep yoga positions, some leave teaching altogether to get back to their personal practice, and some find creative ways to upgrade their teaching outside the studio to free up time. It’s common to hear advice from seasoned teachers who say, “make sure you keep up your personal practice,” but I think it’s way more complicated than that. Part of why it’s complicated is inherent to the pitfalls of the wellness industry. The wellness industry is organized to create a “hustle” for wellness providers who are independent contractors. The hustle includes teaching at multiple studios for $40 per class or less. Yoga teachers spend time preparing for a class then drive around the city to studios to teach for an hour. There is a lot of work behind teaching a single class and little tangible investment back, even if there is great inner fulfillment. Some teachers are okay with doing this for a while to maintain a placement and visibility in the yoga community. However, it does not leave a lot of room for dedication to one’s own yoga practice.
At some point the hustle affects a personal yoga practice detrimentally. At least, that is what happened to me. I spent so much time offering yoga to others that I did not focus on myself. It took a lot of rewiring and refocusing to make my personal practice a priority again and I am still not good at it. On one hand, I felt like I failed my students for not being dedicated to my own practice. But on the other hand, I grew so much by being tuned in and committed to my students’ individual needs. Overall, I think the lesson here is to cultivate self-awareness around what is serving what. Are you simply in a season of spending more time being a teacher? Or has the “hustle” consumed you and you have forgotten how to take care of your needs? Both can be true.
Teaching completely changed the way I view my own practice. I no longer gravitate to fast paced vinyasa classes to reboot. I need slower mindful movements focused on soothing my nervous system. I spend more time seated or in restorative postures at home and less time in the studio. Truly the more I teach, the less I find the physical postures interesting. I enjoy movements in the rhythm of the Polyvagal Theory and giving myself Reiki. My efforts are centered around meditation and contemplation. I suppose this is part of the growing experience of a yoga teacher. I will go through phases, but I know my practice will always find me one way or another. If you are experiencing this as well, perhaps you are going through a phase and your practice is finding you.
